Underwater en route to 29, 029 ft above sea level

After every mountain comes another mountain.

After climbing the Bukit Timah hill in Singapore, there's Kowloon Peak and Tai Mo Shan in Hong Kong.
After that, there's Mount Everest.
Even after conquering Mount Everest, there's still Mars and Venus.

Just when you're trying to find a reason to continue striving by telling yourself: 'things can never go worse than this', life decides to challenge you with an evil grin.

By and large I'm not really comfortable with sharing or even showing my sadness, but I'm going to step out of my comfort zone and get real personal with this blog post. Following... is a glimpse of my naked soul.

I'm weary and surfeited with my daily struggles. I guess just like a rubber band, there's a limit to how much a human can be stretched. Studies alone is already eminently taxing especially in a competitive society like Singapore. To top that up with a bad family background simply exacerbates the whole issue.

Being a night owl, I prefer checking things off my to-do list past midnight where my surroundings are tranquil and serene amidst the bustling city. However, my composure is often intruded by my drunk mother's balderdash and gibberish.

I like Christmas and all festive seasons, mainly attributed to the happy vibes and message they disseminate. Yet, these occasions are the ones that aggravate my night's disturbance.

Being the middleman of 2 conflicting parties is the worse thing ever. Having to convey messages filled with thorns and getting all the lashing out albeit doing nothing wrong.

A home is merely a house if it makes you feel aloof and insecure. It merely gives you warmth physically and not in your heart. Family members are the ones where you eat meals together, sleep together, laugh together and cry together. Why is mine filled with silence, or if not, feud?

I like to divulge and shape people's perception of me as a bundle of joy with no troubles and worries. Why spread sadness when you can spread happiness, am I right? But I guess sometimes even Joy from 'Inside Out' has her blue moments. So this is it, my little bubble of happiness burst.

However, no mountain's too high to climb. I'll continue endeavouring my goals and dreams with all I have as difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. There are so many other things I'm blessed with to keep me going.

My favourite quote inspiring me to take the next breathe:

" She turned her can't into cans, and her dreams into plans. " 

To all the fighters and the souls with an extinguished flame, never stop trying and venturing. Fall down 7, stand up 8. 

Bye, Twenty Sixteen.

"All good things must come to an end."

Everything, irregardless of it being good or bad, comes to an end.
24 hours still run out as quickly, whether you're building a sandcastle at Bora Bora, or cleaning the glass windows at your part time job and 2016 has been rather nice to me.

Our time on this Earth is impermanent.

Can you believe it? 2016 is already coming to an end, which calls for this mandatory end of year blog post.
This year ended as soon as it started, but then again, it's the case for every year isn't it. 

I guess the most significant change for me this year was enrolling into a new school and forging new quality friendships. 
Starting afresh in a new environment provides me with the opportunity to make new decisions and choices. It's like moving from level 133 to level 134 in Flow Free -new puzzle for you to solve and new moves for you to make.

Previously being in the Student Council and Symphonic Band of my secondary school, I was all artsy fartsy and immensely involved in the school's events. Embarking on leadership programmes and numerous service learnings. This year, I decided to have a plot twist and have a sporty chapter in my life story. 

Joined Volleyball, became a Sports Leader and participated in Outward Bound HongKong. 
My skin became 50 shades darker and I'm not complaining. From being used to planning and having meetings in an air-con room to running under the scotching sun. I have to admit enjoying both discrete activities but I prefer the latter. 
Blessed to be part of rfb, 1T27, vbaes, michael sls, sunfung. 

volleyball (girls)

rfb

michael sls

sunfung

Just like how a shadow constantly changes with the movement of the object/light source, my life has multitudinous variables. With that, every year I'm thankful for the constants in my ever-changing life.
A special shoutout to my diamonds (primary school), my PWP (secondary school), Wei En and Sharon for always being there. 

Every year is furnished with umpteen experiences and memories, each having something for you to learn. Thank you 2016 for the wonderful memories and obstacles for 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. Ready to face 2017 head on wew!

Goodbye, 2016. Hello, 2017!

Age it Up

Who is actually living by their age?

" today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again. "

x

There are numerous controversies revolving around the subject of age.

People debate on counting age by the number of memories and not the number of years.
People debate on whether age or experiences define maturity.
Women lying about their age. (Men lie about their income too, so it's pretty fair)

Babies start crying at the age of 0, start walking at the age of 1 and start talking at the age of 2.
People are segregated and classified into different groups according to their age -Toddler, Children, Teenager, Adult, Senior Citizen.

But, do age really mean anything? 

Is it more than simply a noun to describe the physical appearances of a human? What else does the age of a person tell you? Nothing.

Most, if not all are not living by their age.
Theoretically, a 17 year old should be going to school and enjoying the time of her life with her friends and families, just like the lyrics of 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA.
However, many 17 year olds are struggling with family problems, financial issues and studies all at the same time. Homework, house chores and bills are not something a 17 year old should be juggling with.

Similarly, a 40 year old may not be settling bills and taking care of the family. Instead, he may be attending school in pursuit of his college degree.

A 30 year old working adult strolling across Orchard road glimpsing at a gloomy teenager might ponder :" He's just 15 years old, how big can his worries be pfft. "
Little did he know that they share the same routine and worries.

This means to show that you should not judge someone based on what you see. A person's age only tells you the duration in which he has lived, but not the duration of his suffering or pain.

A friend of mine was feeling depressed but all she received was doubtful comments after visiting a counsellor. The counsellor apathetically advised her to 'just move on' and that 'everything will be alright in the end since you're still so young.'

Do not be like that counsellor, instead bestow every individual the same amount of respect and opinion. For a 17 years old may be as 'old' as a 45 years old. Be kind to all ages.

" Anyone can find the dirt in someone. Be the one that finds the gold. -Proverbs 11:27 "

Through the mind of a W A L L F L O W E R

W A L L F L O W E R 

If the society was a big puzzle piece, I would be an astronomical mismatch.
There are assorted differences and similarities between a typical Singaporean girl and me.
I don't mind walking x kilometres and sweating which makes me look like a mess.
But, I mind slow network connections.
I'm not afraid of snakes or having an ugly battle scar.
But, I'm afraid of cockroaches and the dark.
This just shows that albeit there are vast and subtle differences, similarities do exist between you and I.

I wonder what i look like in your eyes.

Am I as pretty as the girl with thousands of followers on Instagram? Am I the only one you set your eyes on amongst the busy crowd in Orchard Road? Do you find my frivolousness annoying or cute? Sometimes the fear of not living up to expectations or the fear of losing someone paramount is comparable to the deep vast ocean, for it has the ability to kill you. This is exacerbated by being someone who is eminently insecure. Sometimes I feel so awkward in public places, so I instinctively wear my earpieces to shut the world out.

Most nights as I look out of my window, staring into oblivion, looking at those miraculous specs of light dancing across the heavens, I can't help but wonder if the person I have dreamt about my entire life is doing the same. Perhaps, we're staring at the same star in the same sky on the same night making the same wish. There are innumerable contrasting thoughts that run through my mind at 3AM  in La La Land. These thoughts often revolve around the people whom I care deeply for -the source of my happiness and sadness. I'm sure many of you reading this do the same. We're not the few foolish ones like the movies. Trust me, you are not alone.

Please don't allow society to turn you into a person you're not. You may not be perfect, but nobody can be the perfect you. Cheers. xoxo

August Update

Recently I've been so overwhelmed by the colossal amount of tasks and assignments. It's as though I have an interminable to-do list. Even when I'm out catching up with my friends or some pokemons, I just can't seem to enjoy what I'm doing without worrying about my work. But I'm pretty sure it's the same for everyone of you out there, whether you're a student or a working adult. Because we're living in the bustling and demanding city of Singapore filled with kiasu people. 

With the release of the much-anticipated Pokémon Go, streets and parks are filled with people glued to their mobile phones. This is especially so at pokestops with a lure module on (i.e.: Orchard, Bishan Park, Marina Bay Sands). Families and groups of friends engage in pokemon hunting as a bonding activity, however it does not seem to be fruitful. Conversations are cut down up to 80% and the topics conversed are narrowed down to mostly just about Pokémon Go. I must confess, I am guilty of the above addiction as well. That's the funny thing about mobile phones, it brings you closer to the people far from you but further from the people around you. 

Tasks and assignments aren't the only thing bothering me recently. Everything just seem to be going down a very steep hill. And it takes a tremendous amount of effort to continue climbing up or even staying where I am. To be expected to balance between studies, social life, financial issues and family issues is just too much for 16 or 17 year olds. I used to have insomnia, but nowadays I'm so drained that I just knock out the moment I lie on my bed, or sometimes even on my table. Mentally drained and physically drained. Why can't everything just be the way it's supposed to be? Why must I be the one who encounters all these shit experiences? Why must people (even people with the title of a 'friend') on earth just be so mean and inconsiderate? One of my new year resolution every year is to be able to change the world for the better, even if it's just by a little bit. My approach towards it? Spread positive vibes. However, I'm not so sure if I'm capable of that anymore. My once bubble of positivity is now burst due to the thorns of the society. 

I would like to share one of my favourite quote:  "Fall down seven, stand up eight." Never give up, be a fighter for your dreams and turn them into reality. As cliché as it can get, I feel that most of us just require that little motivation and reminder to get us going. Press on people, the roots of your goals might be bitter but the fruit is sweet. 

" if not now, then when "

Have you ever turned an hour glass upside down and scrutinize the sand as it slips down? Even if you have, i bet it was when you were a child; when the world around you seemed so big and fascinating. 

We're constantly doing something, we're never 'bored'. 

I've exceeded my data the previous month and it was a blessing in disguise. I noticed situations i was previously unaware of; I heard sounds I don't normally bother to listen to. 

In a commoner's daily routine, a journey to and fro any destination would be accompanied with instagram, twitter, snapchat and whatsapp; all the social media basically. It's as if they come in a package and it was so saddening to see friends going home together but with their eyes glued to their phones. Everybody's heads were down as if the bus was 1.5m tall. We're constantly listening to our own music that we blocked out the sounds of our environment; be it the engine roaming or the sound of children laughing. 

The trips without using my phone but instead coalescing with the surroundings, seemed to make my emotions contradict each other as it was both fulfilling and disappointing. I felt how fast the world was moving, like a video sped up.

Many of us are still busy doing work; but we're not sure why or whom we're doing all those work for. Many of us are striving for the As on our report card or the promotion at work, but is it really considered a success or an achievement? 

For those who can't seem to see their future in five to ten years, in a dilemma whether to wind a watch or to bark at the moon: Always remember that it's more important to be happy with what you're doing instead of doing what makes the society happy. 

Also, try and experience going home without touching any technological gadgets. The lessons gathered are indeed rewarding. 

Shooting Stars, Secret Wishes

A shooting star. People starts wishing upon looking at it.

Did you know that a shooting star is actually not a star? In fact, these fascinating streaks of light are caused by dust and rocks (called meteoroids) falling into the Earth's atmosphere and burning up. 

Yes, i searched it up on google. No, I am not here to give you a lecture on how a shooting star works.

It's a metaphor. Just like the one in The Fault In Our Stars-"you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do it's killing."

I feel that there are many shooting stars on Earth. Many people fall so that someone else's wish can come true. 

In other words, sacrifice. This does not occur only in humans. Even metals have something called sacrificial protection. Many people say that love means willing to sacrifice oneself for another. Just like how our mothers are willing to bear the pain to bring us to life. Or, just like how our dads spend their time and effort to earn money for us instead of using it to persue their own wants. Because they love us.

A shooting star is also just like a missed opportunity. For it is a symbol of reaching ones ultimate destiny. There are many superstitions and beliefs in this sighting. Some believe it to mean a new birth, or a change in one's life. However, the sightings of the shooting stars are rare and short-lived. 

I was a strong believer for wishes and destiny. Keyword: was. In the present moment, I believe in working towards what we want in lieu of just wishing for it. Your one million dollars or baby is not just going to drop down from the sky, just so you know.

I met a few shooting stars in my life before. They gave me so much hope and faith. But, good things don't last forever. Just like a shooting star, they flashed across the room one by one, and disappeared from my life. They were gone too soon.

" The brightest stars are those who shine for the benefit of others. " May 2016 be the year you start helping the ones around you. Make a wish, and work towards it. Oh, and one last question. What would you wish for if you had one last chance? I often ask myself this to realize what I want most in life, in that particular period.

Shine bright my diamonds. xoxo.